mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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