Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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