so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
