my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
