did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize