I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
