remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
