I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
