hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
