she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
