so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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