Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
