Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
