I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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