how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
