also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize