I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
