If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
