You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
