You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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