oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
