she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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