just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
