garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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