don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
