Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
