i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize