you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
