whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
