hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
