They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
