Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
