He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
