i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
It was confusing and full of hummus
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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