Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
