woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
