it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
