Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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