Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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