Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
