It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
dude. I can hear the air.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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