so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
