dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Randomize
