Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
