Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
