I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He called his prostate his "boner button".
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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