It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
