FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
