We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
