I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
