Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Couch. On fire.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
