she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
