They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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