break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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