I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Life is so much better after having sex.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize