It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
My dick has a subreddit
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
