im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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