So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
